The School's Apology

The day after the winter formal everyone in the school had been aware of what had happened. I was venting to my teacher who I was very close to, who happened to be our class advisor, about what had happened that night. I really thought that our school would have been able to be mature about it, and I guess I was living in this little fantasy world in my head that people of our generation didn't really care, and that it was only the older people who saw something wrong with homosexuality. But the event of the night that shocked me the most was when another senior, who is rumored to be gay, yelled the word fagot. I mean it's not like I, or anyone else could hear him over the music, but I could read the word on his lips. I just couldn't understand why someone who is in the same situation I'm in would do that. You know what it's like to be made fun of, or talked about behind your back, so why would you do that to someone else? I guess because he was considered "popular" people didn't give him as much problems as they did me. So after venting to my teacher in second period, one by one the class president and all other students council members came up to me to apologize. When the class president walked up to me I was shocked. I totally wasn't expecting it. He told me that he was sorry for what had happened that night, and that he feels like he should have done more to help break it up, and that I shouldn't of had to go through that. But what was I suppose to say in response? I've never spoken to him a day in my life. So all I did was nod my head and say thank you. Then when the rest of the student council came up to me I just did the same thing. But when one member of the student council came up to me, I didn't let him off the hook so easily. It was the allegedly "gay" guy who called me  fagot. His apology seemed more like he wanted to get the attention off of him. Between me and my friends talking about it, the spotlight was now on him making him look like a hypocrite. He claimed he never called me that, and that he apologized if I had thought thats what had happened. It was funny seeing how awkward he was about coming up to me. I let him know how shocked and hurt I was that day by everyone's reactions and how I thought our generation was above that. He nodded his head and kept agreeing with me, but I could tell he just wanted to get the hell out of there. It was bad enough that it was the end of the school day and everyone leaving the building probably saw us talking. But I do have to give him credit, it took balls to come up to me and apologize, even though it was a half ass apology. Plus he got what was coming to him with all the rumors afterwards. With all this drama I can't even imagine what prom is going to be like...

The Winter Formal

It was coming to that time of the year for the winter formal. Everyone in school was saving money to buy their tickets, get a dress or suite, and of course searching for a date. Luckily for me and my friends were already all had boy friends. I was never a fan of getting dressed up and going to these things, but my friends were all going with their dates so I figured I would drag Mr. Myspace along. When I told my mom that I planned on bringing him to the dance she reacted just like I had expected...hesitant. She didn't want me to be made fun of or teased, but I reassured her that it was nothing I couldn't handle. I've gotten use to being called a fag every day as I would walk to my car after school, so being at a dance with teachers around was not going to scare me. I also have this thing about public affection...I love it! I feel like I have the right to be publicly affectionate after sitting around 17 years of my life watching guys and girls mack up right in front of me. So why shouldn't I have the same right? Oh it makes you uncomfortable? Then turn the fuck around! I've had family members, who I love very much, tell me that when I'm kissing Mr. Myspace by the pool, or if we're laying together in the hammock together, or sitting on each others laps, that it freaks them out....and I told them that I didn't care. This may just be the gay activist part of me, but I cannot stand when someone tries to tell me what I can and cannot do just because it may not be what society sees as "normal". No one would say two words if my brother kissed his girl friend, or laid with her in a hammock, or if she sat on his lap. My mom tries to say that if my brother had, had a girl friend she would yell at them as well. I'll give her credit though, my mom is not a publicly affectionate person herself. I'm lucky if I've seen my parents hug, let alone make out. But I'm just curious to see how she will handle it when my brothers begin to date. So me and Mr. Myspace went to the dance. We sat at a table with all my friends and their dates. We have all gotten together before so all of our dates knew each other already. We sat around and talked and laughed. Then it happened. The only song that would be able to get me and Mr. Space to the dance floor came on. Gimmie More by Britney Spears. We got up with all my friends and their dates. Me and Mr. Myspace were grinding up on each other. I could tell he was getting excited because I could feel his dress pants get tight around the crotch area. We began to kiss. I wasn't even paying attention to what was going on around me, in my mind it was just me and him....but my friends were. Little did I know there was a circle of people around us staring. One girl thought it was funny to laugh and point. I could hear my friends begin to scream and yell. I again did nothing to react. When ever someone thought it was funny to laugh at me or make fun of me I would never react. I have trained myself to pretend that they are not talking about me. I've seen what happens when people get made fun of and they try to fight back. It just makes the bullies laugh more. So I just stayed quiet and kept minding my business. When ever my friends would encounter me getting bullied they would always flip out on them. It would always make me feel better when they would step in. So I just let them go at it. Little did I know that they would follow the girl into the bathroom and threaten to beat her up. And my friends were not tinny girls. They were loud and pretty intimidating. The guys just sat at the table while the girls claimed they had to go to the bathroom to freshen up their make up. Then the next thing we know, they are being chased out of the bathroom by the Vice Principal. Luckily he didn't kick us out, or make us leave the dance, but he did keep a close eye on us for the rest of the night. All in all I had a good time. The real fun began that night after the dance on the way back home of Mr. Myspace taking me back home. The back seat of his car wasn't a very comfortable or romantic place to have sex, but when you're a 17 year old guy, as long as your getting it in, thats all that really matters. With all of that built up anger and frustration that we got from the closed minded kids at the dance we turned it into positive energy and Mr. Myspace's car was defiantly rockin' that night....